...but that doesn't mean I'm having fun.
Revisiting the past...and more past...does that sound right?
Let's look at yesterday, August 3rd. That date holds a lot of significance in my life, particularly 3 different dates:
1988- Perhaps the happiest day of my life, when I took the vows of matrimony and married Mary Beth. The enormity of committing and devoting the rest of my days to this woman was met with enthusiasm and eagerness.
2001- On that day as MB and I celebrated 13 years together, I lost my mother after a very brave fight to a frightening foe. That year, actually, sucked as a whole for so any reasons that if I had the ability to erase it from history...I would do so without thinking twice.
2008- After 20 years of marriage, I moved out of the house at MB's request leaving behind 3 beautiful children and the only person I had ever put on a pedestal. To say my heart was broken would have been such an understatement, that I would have had anyone who said just that tested for sanity. I, myself, died that day.
Yesterday- I didn't have that much time to stop and think. I was finishing up an inventory and working on 2.5 hours of sleep the past 48 hours. I was spent. As soon as I arrived home, I went straight to bed, not waking up till early the 4th. Rather ironic that one of the reasons of our strife, my work, kept me from stopping to think about the past 21 years.
So, now that the day has passed, I have things to say:
Goodbye Mom, I miss you. I wish we could visit Vegas just one more time.
Goodbye Mary Beth, how I wish I could change things. I miss you and the kids so much. Whatever I did or said, I am sorry.
It's storming outside...how very fitting.
Posted by mrchipper at August 4, 2009 08:23 AM