I kinda feel like Charlie Brown in the TV Special. I get a little down on Christmas Day and after.
Why?
Dunno...but it's been that way for awhile, but I must explain.
The period leading up to Christmas Day I love. The whole Holiday Season. I like the cooler temperatures, the decorations, the smells, and the music...ahh yes, the music.
The music is simply the best part. After singing for so long during school and being surrounded by great Holiday music every year, it's no wonder I love the sounds so much. Dad had the entire collection of Firestone Christmas albums and I remember listening to them. Some great folks on those pieces of vinyl. I have several CDs of Christmas music of all genres, but I didn't listen to any of them this year. Stupid me.
I miss being able to fully decorate the tree. Can't do that anymore because the cats are notorious for tearing up the tree and I sure don't want our valuable Hallmark ornaments failing any gravity tests. Heck, this year I missed out on decorating the tree all together...it was bought and put up while I was at work. The outside lights were a disaster this year...every set we bought last year worked ok at the start, then it seemed like each day another portion of a strand would fail. It almost was like an organized effort to piss me off. We bought more strands to fill the gaps and now there are so many light strands on the bushes..they are hopelessy tangled.
I also miss seeing my brother and his family on Christmas morning.
So, we have the event that is Christmas morning...Santa came..woohoo!
Dinner was fantastic, and I stuffed myself. BTW, we had a chinese food dinner on Christmas Eve that was awesome!
It's now evening and I have to be at work to open in the morning, life goes on. There are so many instances I wish I could just stop time...things just go by so fast.
We went to my Aunt and Uncle's place for Christmas tonight. This has been a celebration on my Mom's side of the family for as long as I can remember. Like the individual families involved, the tradition has evolved over the years. It used to be held on Christmas Eve but it became too difficult to get everyone together then, believe it or not. Work and other family committments required us to change the event to the last Sunday before Christmas. That worked for awhile and now it rotates times just like it has rotated locations.
I haven't been able to attend the past couple of times due to work and illness but this year was a "go" as I had the weekend off (something that never would have occurred under the RS regime).
To see folks I haven't seen in years made me very happy. I felt like a little kid again. Hugs, handshakes, and good natured jibes between my brother and me made me feel so alive.
Things really didn't hit home until my uncle said/did something new this year. Before the Blessing, he went over to pictures of my grandparents and simply stated that "this celebration was their idea, it began with them".
At that very moment, a flood of memories overwhelmed me. Things like:
Christmas Eve at Grandma's house, now a part of an Interstate.
Being a kid and waiting (not very patiently) for the grownups to finish eating and talking so we could get down to the real business...Presents!
The actual ritual of handing out all the gifts.
The food.
The smells.
The decorations.
The drive to and from the relative's houses...I'm not kidding.
And of course...the people.
Folks I see only once a year, some I would see all the time. Growing up, there wasn't anyone in my age group...most were older then they started having kids and I was no longer the youngest...didn't ruin my enjoyment at all.
Tonight the place was full of family members of all ages. A packed house it was.
But...we were missing a few people, and those memories were felt just as strongly:
My Mom.
My Dad.
Grandma and Granddad
I was a little kid again tonight...maybe there's hope for me after all.
The only bad thing was we had to leave way too early as MB had work to catch up with. Even being your own boss doesn't relieve you of time obligations. Of course, I managed to say all my goodbyes with the promises of seeing everyone sometime soon and not just at Christmas.
I hope the room is just as full next year.